“The Craft” is being remade, and guess what? I'm not mad about it. Leigh Janiak did a terrific job on a limited budget with her recent horror flick “Honeymoon,” and — while I would certainly prefer that she utilize her talents in service of an original vision — I trust she'll at least bring something interesting to the table.
That said, the original movie will always hold a special place in the heart of every former '90s goth kid who's cool enough to recall the brief, unforgettable moment when Fairuza Balk was the preeminent alterna-“It Girl” of film. Without further adieu, here are the ten best parts of the original movie.
1. “We are the weirdos, mister”
An iconic line delivered with sarcastic verve by our dear Fairuza. Punk rock.
2. All the scenes where they're just hanging out
One of the main elements that makes “The Craft” a successful film is the palpable chemistry between the four lead actresses. The scenes where they're just hanging out in each others' bedrooms have a real, casual quality that makes us buy them as friends.
3. Slo-mo realness
Watch closely as Fairuza owns the now-tired “slo-mo walking toward camera” trope by blowing a kiss to the plebes. It's her royal moment.
4. Nancy's awesome mother
Helen Shaver was perfect as Nancy's hard-living mom, who goes from white-trash burnout to tacky, high-living inheritance queen about midway through the movie. Her big-haired, leopard-print tackiness and undying love for Connie Francis make her a real fleshed-out character — a welcome anomaly in the pantheon of boring teen-movie parents.
5. Nancy and her mother's reaction to their insurance payout
One of the movie's great comedic moments comes after the death of Nancy's abusive stepfather, when she and her mother learn they're the recipients of a $175,000 life insurance payout. Their inappropriately ebullient reaction to the news is priceless.
6. “Stupid bitch”
Christine Taylor's racist mean girl gets her comeuppance in spectacular style, but not before she spits venom at Neve Campbell in a manner that would make Regina George shudder. Let us also not forget her contrite third-act wig moment, which is a scream.
7. Nancy's early-morning beach freakout
Is it any wonder Fairuza can walk on water? In a movie filled with flamboyant depictions of black magic, Nancy's Jesus epiphany is by far the most chilling moment. “This is a gift! These are my gifts!” she cries as she takes in the sight of multiple dead sharks in the sand. It's a deliciously over-the-top moment that seals Nancy's descent into madness.
8. Nancy kills Chris
The film's arguable centerpiece is the scene that sees Nancy at first seducing and then murdering rapey Chris (Skeet Ulrich) by blowing him out a window with her powers. I can't recall a close-up freakout fiercer or more memorable than Fairuza's, whose wild-eyed, hair-tearing gesticulations are truly frightening.
9. Sarah dispatches with Bonnie and Rochelle
After defeating Nancy in the film's alpha-bitch climax, Sarah stares down the faux-contrite Bonnie and Rochelle with withering contempt before countering their subsequent insult with a fearsome show of force. My favorite superhero? Robin Tunney.
10. Nancy's fate revealed
Fairuza's Norman Bates moment: do not underestimate this. “I'm flying,” she cries, hands bound to a hospital bed. She sure is.