Lorde age-truthers are some of my favorite people on the Internet. After all, how can we really be sure she’s a 17-year-old teenage girl from Auckland, New Zealand? Well, we can’t, because as last night’s South Park proved, Lorde is actually a 42-year-old geologist from Colorado named…Randy Marsh. Yup, the same Randy Marsh from the Ghetto Avenue Boys. Ya ya ya, ya ya ya.
Does this mean Ariana Grande is one-half of a conjoined fetus lady, and Imagine Dragons are actually talking turds? Maroon 5 is the Biggest Douche in the Universe, but we already knew that.
