Thousands of heartbroken Adele fans are living an Adele song today. Tickets for her massive 56-date North American tour, which kicks off in St. Paul, Minnesota in July 2016 and ends in Mexico City in November (with six shows at Madison Square Garden in-between), went on sale this morning. Obviously not everyone who wanted one got one, which is why I propose that every stadium have at least 350,000 seats, with cupholders big enough to fit my child-size Paunch Burger soda. Is that too much (soda) to ask?
Anyway, congratulations are in order for everyone lucky enough to get a ticket, because they won’t be in debt after buying one on the secondary market. Let’s say you want to see Adele on September 26, 2016. It’s the final night of her New York residency, so you want to be close to the stage. Two floor seats on StubHub will only set you back a cool $10,000. Okay, so maybe not that show. How about September 6, when Adele’s in Auburn Hills, Michigan? That has to be less expensive, right? It is! A pair of floor tickets are only $2,500. You’d be stupid not to take out a second mortgage and go (although it means having to travel to Michigan, so… maybe not).
The digital lines on Ticketmaster, which reportedly kept crashing, were absurd, so fans shared their tear-stained frustrations on Twitter.
Getting Adele tickets is worse than being in the Hunger Games.
— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) December 17, 2015
That time when @Ticketmaster was absolutely the worst and wouldn't let me get past their robot security to buy @Adele tickets #adeletickets
— Samantha Greer (Kubek) (@SamanthaKubek) December 17, 2015
HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE
I MUST HAVE TRIED 1000 TIMES
TO GET ADELE TICKETS
IT WAS BREAKING MY HEART— Josh (@JoshTRoden) December 17, 2015
.@ticketmaster is the ultimate dream killer and day ruiner. #adeletickets
— Jessica Bishop 💍 Founder, The Budget Savvy Bride (@savvybride) December 17, 2015
At least heartbroken Adele fans upset about not getting tickets have the perfect music to listen to.
— Dana Wessel (@DanaWessel) December 17, 2015
https://twitter.com/LouisaOrford/status/677516270904807424
https://twitter.com/ksav13/status/677528412676861952
https://twitter.com/lerybith/status/677513800782913537
Miss getting @Adele tickets on @Ticketmaster?
Don't worry, you can purchase some for $9,000 a piece on @StubHub!#adeletickets
— Chelsea Patterson Sobolik (@ChelsPat) December 17, 2015
Attempting to buy Adele tickets is more depressing than an Adele song.
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) December 17, 2015
https://twitter.com/AlySemigran/status/677509824842723328
https://twitter.com/sammyrhodes/status/677516074879963136
https://twitter.com/ashTV/status/677537823629647872
https://twitter.com/paigelav/status/677508046596255744
https://twitter.com/chandni_thakkar/status/677530462047379456
https://twitter.com/abbieverett/status/677525768709283844
https://twitter.com/chrisaroman/status/677531790236585984
Adele tickets went "on sale" to the "general public" this morning. pic.twitter.com/HlVnt4Hzlc
— Ramzy Nasrallah (@ramzy) December 17, 2015
If only there was an SNL sketch to represent Adele-inspired sadness…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWkJAwQU_R8