Rebecca Black Shockingly Unpopular At School, Now Being Homeschooled

Editor-in-Chief
08.10.11

Poor Rebecca Black. It’s easy to forget that the YouTube-created turd-meme virtually universally reviled on the internet is only 14, still at the age when young people in school are hormonal as all hell and exposed to the types of psychological cruelty usually reserved for maximum security prisons.

Black — who’s slated to appear on America’s Got Talent tonight, for some reason — told ABC that the teasing, harassment and bullying at her school became so relentless after “Friday” hit the web that she’s opted to be homeschooled.

“When I walk by they’ll start singing ‘Friday’ in a really nasally voice,” she said. “Or, you know, they’ll be like, ‘Oh hey, Rebecca, guess what day it is?'”

Now her mother is her teacher, and said she agreed to pull Black out of school because her daughter was being made fun of and so she had more time to focus on her career. “She certainly did not need that kind of pressure,” Georgina Marquez said.

Oh Jesus. (Breathes deeply. Tries desperately to restrain himself)

Look, it’s hard to feel any sympathy for Rebecca Black. I’m certainly not an advocate of bullying, but this girl, let’s face it, sort of asked for it. She wanted to be famous without having to deal with the downside to fame. But still — she’s 14. Her parents need to be publicly stoned, obviously, along with the vultures at the record label who unleashed her upon us. I just wish that somehow all of the vitriol directed at the failed songstress could be instead directed at Black’s mother, a seemingly delusional, terrible person who appears to hold no remorse for trying to make her virtually talentless daughter a star.

“Best $4,000 I ever spent, let me tell you that,” Georgina Marquez said about the money she put up to fund the making of the “Friday” video.

I’ll just let Mila Kunis demonstrate to Georgina Marquez how we all feel about that…

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