The man of skin, Mr. Skin, has been “fast-forwarding to the good parts” for 15 years now. To celebrate, he ordered a cake in the shape of Phoebe Cates, then ranked the 150 greatest nude scenes of all-time. But what does “greatest” refer to exactly, though? Could it mean most watched? Most masturbated to? Least amount of Terry Bradshaw butt? The answer is: I dunno.
The selection process for the Top 150 Nude Scenes was intense and competitive, determined by a scientific algorithm of eight variables including Star Power, Cultural Significance, Duration of Scenes and User Votes. “If 15 years in this business has taught me anything, it’s that there are many factors that determine what makes a great celebrity nude scene,” said Mr. Skin. (Via)
Translation: “If 15 years in this business has taught me anything, it’s that people love to watch Lorne Malvo have REALLY depressing sex with Halle Berry,” said the Bill James of body parts. You can check out the full list at the source (where there’s video we can’t show), but here’s the top 15.
1. Scarlett Johansson (Under the Skin)
2. Halle Berry (Monster’s Ball)
3. Angelina Jolie (Gia)
4. Lea Seydoux and Adele Exarchopoulos (Blue Is the Warmest Color)
5. Emila Clarke (Game of Thrones)
6. Alyssa Milano (Embrace of the Vampire)
7. Kaki Hunter (Porky’s)
8. Elizabeth Berkley (Showgirls)
9. Phoebe Cates (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)
10. Alexandra Daddario (True Detective)
11. Kelly Preston (Mischief)
12. Emily Ratajkowski, Jessi M’Bengue, and Elle Evans (“Blurred Lines” video)
13. Jessica Biel (Powder Blue)
14. Margot Robbie (The Wolf of Wall Street)
15. Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct)
Mr. Skin: the only place where Game of Thrones and Porky’s are on the same list.