We’re all aware Rob Lowe now has a television show where he and his sons search for Bigfoot, right? I mean, they do more than that, apparently, based on the truly fascinating trailer for A&E’s The Lowe Files, which starts out slow and then is suddenly backed by Blue Öyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” They are investigating all kinds of mysteries: Bigfoot, ghosts, other things that require the footage to be shot in night vision. It looks remarkable. I can’t believe it took us this long to create a television show about a celebrity and his children searching for probably mythical beasts. A real missed opportunity.
Anyway, it got me thinking: Rob Lowe was on The West Wing. Is he even the most likely actor from that show to catch Bigfoot? If not, who is? But then I realized that the answer is so obviously Allison Janney that the question wasn’t worth thinking about for any length of time. (Comedy, drama, trapping and catching Sasquatch, the woman really can do everything.) So, we pivot to a more interesting — and, frankly, necessary — question: Which character on The West Wing would be most likely to catch Bigfoot?
Below, please find my top 30 selections, ranked from least to most likely.
30. Joe Quincy (Matthew Perry)
29. Zoey Bartlet (Elisabeth Moss)
28. Mandy Hampton (Moira Kelly)
27. Will Bailey (Josh Malina)
26. John Hoynes (Tim Matheson)
25. Josh Lyman (Bradley Whitford)
24. Bruno Gianelli (Ron Silver)
23. Oliver Babish (Oliver Platt)
22. Toby Ziegler (Richard Schiff)
21. Ainsley Hayes (Emily Procter)
20. Mrs. Landingham (Kathryn Joosten)
19. Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe)
18. Arnold Vinick (Alan Alda)
17. Kate Harper (Mary McCormack)
16. Mat Santos (Jimmy Smits)
15. Donna Moss (Janel Maloney)
14. Carol Fitzpatrick (Melissa Fitzgerald)
13. Danny Concannon (Timothy Busfield)
12. Charlie Young (Dulé Hill)
11. Margaret Hooper (Nicole Robinson)
10. Jed Bartlet (Martin Sheen)
9. Chief Justice Evelyn Baker Lang (Glenn Close)
8. Abby Bartlet (Stockard Channing)
7. Percy Fitzwallace (John Amos)
6. Glen Allen Walken (John Goodman)
5. Amy Gardner (Mary-Louise Parker)
4. Leo McGarry (John Spencer)
3. Lord John Marbury (Roger Rees)
2. C.J. Cregg (Allison Janney)
1. Nancy McNally (Anna Deavere Smith)
Toby would definitely have the best speech about catching Bigfoot, though. This I know for certain.
