A 17-Year Old Leslie Knope Wannabe Asked Joe Biden To Prom And He Sent Her A Sweet Gift

Each year, we’re treated to a number of stories about high school boys asking female celebrities to prom, and because high school boys only ever think about one thing, those female celebrities are typically Kate Upton or porn stars. Finally, though, we have a story of a 17-year old girl who asked her ideal male celebrity to her senior prom, and let’s all just thank any or all gods that she didn’t pick James Deen. While most girls would have probably preferred Ryan Gosling or one of those One Direction fellas, this Newington High School student sent her one and only invite to Vice President Joe Biden.

Talia Maselli told the Hartford Courant that she didn’t seriously expect the Veep to take a break from being DC’s most dynamic dudester to go or even respond, but sure enough, on the morning of the day before her prom, a delivery man came to Maselli’s door and gave her a very special gift from Biden. It was a red, white and blue corsage with a handwritten note to let her down nicely.

So just what kind of game did a teenage girl spit at the second most powerful man in America?

“I am inviting you so far in advance because I’m sure many 17-year-old girls send you prom invitations, and I had to beat them to it,” Maselli said in her letter. “I could only tolerate a high school dance if I was to be escorted by the most delightful man in America.”

If Biden turned her down, Maselli warned that she might ask Speaker of the House John Boehner in his place.

“And we can’t have that now can we,” she wrote. (Via the Courant)

Biden definitely seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t let a girl look him over for John Boehner, so that must be why his secretary told Maselli that the VP personally picked out the corsage that was delivered to her. Unfortunately, Maselli didn’t even end up going to the prom, which could be because she just didn’t feel like it, as she told the newspaper, or it could have been that she was so crushed by Biden’s rejection that she couldn’t stand the thought of everyone laughing at her. “You couldn’t even get Vice President Biden to go to prom with you,” they’d shout at her before dumping pig blood on her. Teens can be so cruel.

At least we know what it would have looked like if Joe had said yes…