It’s no secret that people take their breakfast meat very seriously. But if you’re actually named after breakfast meat, you’d presumably be obligated to take it even more seriously. Like in the case of 19-year-old Thomas Bacon of New Jersey, who allegedly assaulted someone over eating the last sausage. (Going by this dumb logic, my last name should be “Catvideos” or something.)
According to NJ.com, the incident took place earlier this month at a Madison, N.J. home, where officers responded to a call regarding a domestic dispute. When Madison Police Officer Lisa Esposito arrived on the scene, she learned that the alleged assault on another unnamed person in the house was over the breakfast meat, although the relationship to the suspect in unknown.
Bacon was charged with simple assault, pending a court hearing. This is not the first time someone has resorted to fisticuffs over sausage, as an Ohio man slammed a teenage relative’s head in a refrigerator door last year for eating all the sausage. Serious business, people.