Asteroids Movie Still Happening, Has a New Writer

So, they’re making a movie based on the Asteroids arcade game. Yeah, the one where you’re a triangle that spins around, shoots rocks and, uh…that’s it. That’s all the game is. Hollywood thinks this is full of cinematic potential.

Lorenzo di Bonaventura (the guy behind the Transformers movies) is producing, and the project has just picked up screenwriter Evan Spiliotopoulos. Evan’s one of the many writers behind the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman. Snow White and the Whosman-wha you say? Here’s a trailer. Yes, there’s no children’s story Hollywood can’t turn into a bland 300/Lord of the Rings rip-off. Also, any movie that hinges on Charlize Theron being jealous of Kristen Stewart’s epic beauty has miscalculated on a pretty fundamental level.

But anyways, what was I talking about? Oh right, the Asteroids movie. So, apparently it’s not just going to be 90-minutes of a triangle shooting rocks. The movie now has a basic plotline and it involves “two estranged brothers that must team up to save Earth from an alien race.” In other words, Universal just bought the rights to the cheapest video game property that had something to do with space so they had an excuse to film “Generic Space-Invasion Script #398” they’ve had sitting in a drawer somewhere for years. Evan Spiliotopoulos will add some references to Twitter and 2 Girls, 1 Cup to make it relevant to the kids today. It will suck.

See you at the movies folks!

via Hollywood Reporter