Donald Trump Jr. Tried Schooling Folks On ‘Socialism’ Using Halloween Candy And Failed Miserably

According to this truly spooky scary Halloween tweet, Donald Trump Jr. thinks socialism is defined as follows: Some people work, and others stay home and reap all the benefits. Ironically, socialism is far closer to a neighborhood agreeing to go out and buy candy to pass out to their neighbors and their children in an effort to produce a pleasant, inclusive society in which everyone gets a tasty treat. Even more ironically, most neighborhoods around Halloween participate in a sort of Democratic Socialism by being able to opt out of the whole candy giving thing by simply turning off the light on their front porch.

Anyway, let’s break down Trump Jr.’s tweet here, because it’s really quite interesting. He says: “I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to (sic) early to teach her about socialism.”

This translates to: Laborer (cute kid in Halloween costume) acquires capital (candy) which is then given to their boss (father) who decides to it to give to someone of their choosing. Possibly for dirt on their political opponent, or information on Russian adoption policies.

This irony crushes the souls of the proletariat (a people that have been treated unkindly by the Trumps on countless occasions) with the force of 65,844,954 frozen Reeses peanut butter cups. And so, the internet went at it.