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Forget Baseball, America’s New Pastime Is Figuring Out Which ‘Florida Man’ You Are

FOX

The last four winners of Time‘s Person of the Year award are Angela Merkel, Donald Trump, the Silence Breakers, and the Guardians. When will Florida Man get his due? That quirky individual, who’s gotten himself into all kinds of shenanigans in “America’s wang,” has supplied the internet (and therefore, the world) with so much wonderful material since the meme was birthed in 2013. Who can forget the time Florida Man offered a chicken-for-sex deal to an undercover cop, or when he fell asleep behind the wheel while holding a burrito, or almost burned down an ICU ward after gifting his friend a crack rock?

There’s a Florida Man in all of us, but which Florida Man? Is it the Florida Man who chased away convenience store customers with an alligator, or the Florida (Wo)Man who bit a spring breaker’s face for littering? A recent tweet will help you figure that out. “EVERYBODY google ‘florida man’ followed by your birthday (florida man august 22) and tell me what you get,” tweeted @g_pratimaaa before adding what they got (“mine is Florida Man tries to attack neighbor with tractor”). Mine is, “Florida Man on Flakka Thinks He’s Possessed, Strips Naked, Disrupts Traffic on I-95,” which, yeah, sounds about right.

Let’s what see other Florida People got.

Florida Man can sometimes take a dark turn, though.

But don’t worry, there’s a Florida Woman, too.

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