A Florida Man Who Was Arrested With Coke And Meth Wrapped Around His Penis Swears It Isn’t His

If you’re ever caught smuggling drugs on your person (not that we’d ever condone that), we can all learn a little somethin’ from Patrick Florence—namely, that junk on your junk is a bad idea. As Raw Story reports, the 34-year-old Florida man was pulled over by police early Saturday morning for driving a car that that did not have its lights on. But things only got worse from there when, according to Orlando Weekly, Florence was “arrested by police for DUI and possession of marijuana. A search of the car uncovered a gun under Florence’s seat.”

The discovery of these items led police to search further, right down into the suspect’s pants, where deputies discovered bags of cocaine and methamphetamines wrapped around Florence’s phallus. According to the police report, however, the suspect “stated the package wrapped around his penis was not his.” Florence apparently did not elaborate much further, meaning that he did not say who the drugs in question belonged to and/or if he was aware that he was driving around with a crotch full of coke.

One has to imagine that it would have been hard for a stranger to gain access to the man’s member without him noticing, but we are not here to make assumptions or judge.

As Raw Story helpfully notes: “Hiding drugs in the crotch is not a new practice. In 2012, one case made national news after a Philadelphia man was found with 89 bags of cannabis tied to his penis.”

And to all a good night…

(Via Raw Story)