These Frank Reynolds Quotes Will Remind You That He’s A Bad Boss

When patriarch Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito) made his appearance in the opening episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s second season, the dynamic of the gang changed forever. Before Frank, they were a group of self-important narcissists who shirked their responsibilities and regularly drank themselves into oblivion. As circumstances required that the three Paddy’s Pub owners Dennis (Glenn Howerton), Charlie (Charlie Day), and Mac (Rob McElhenney) cut Frank in on the action, his impact was immediately felt by everyone — though with the same amount of narcissism and alcohol. To celebrate Frank and the shrewdness he’s famous for, here are nine quotes to remind you that you absolutely would not want to work for him.

“This is a brilliant idea, hobovertising! Come on it looks good, beer ’em.”

Frank was never above appealing to the lowest common denominator in any situation, up to and including using the homeless as walking billboards for Dennis’ foray into local politics. If this sounds ridiculous, don’t forget that a company tried a very similar endeavor at SXSW a couple years ago to fairly widespread criticism. This is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the kinds of things you can expect if Frank was signing your paychecks.

“Don’t look at me. You made this bed; you’re sleeping in it. This is a life lesson for you.”

When it comes to profit and glory, Frank’s all about taking his fair share. Should you maybe find yourself in a little bit of trouble, Frank will not only turn his back on you, he’ll make it seem like he’s doing you a favor. Then he’d probably eat your lunch before washing it down with a nice Wolf Cola.

“Charlie, you showed a lot of balls stealing my money. That shows leadership. I’m promoting you to manager.”

One of the most damning aspects to Frank as a boss is that his decisions are as erratic as his personality — a lesson that the gang learns early on when he not only promotes Charlie, despite the fact he stole from him, while punishing Mac for doing the exact same thing. No matter what, you’d never know where you’d stand with Frank.

“I put us all in a ranking system so you’d all care about your jobs.”

We’ve all had a job where the boss thought the best approach was to micro-manage every little thing, all day, day after day. While that kind of approach will almost always lead to staff-wide resentment, it wouldn’t hold a candle to assigning all the employees a number based on an arbitrary ranking system. In fact, had Charlie not burst in with news that he’d nearly cost them their bar, this almost surely would’ve ended in some kind of gladiatorial death match.

“… and a lot of good men died in that sweatshop.”

Frank’s quick to cite his time in Vietnam as a rallying cry for American freedom, even when Dee (Kaitlyn Olsen) reminds him that he went there in the early ’90s to open up a sweatshop — a fact that he does not deny. In fact, he comes back with this fairly unsettling tidbit about exactly what he’s willing to do just so he can make a buck.

“Listen, it could be a miracle, it could be bullsh*t. There’s only one thing we know for sure: It’s a goddamn goldmine!”

When Frank looks at an idea, he does so with dollar signs in his eyes. Whether it exploits people’s faith or ignores the bar’s desperate need for new plumbing is irrelevant to him. Not exactly boss material, unless this is the kind of walking capitalistic nightmare that you’re looking for in an employer.

“If we’re gonna turn this company around, we gotta start cutting the crust off this sh*t sandwich!”

For one glorious episode, we see Frank don his dress clothes, along with his long-forgotten mantle of ‘The Warthog’ as he’s called in to save the company he once founded. Given Frank’s unflinching and downright ruthless business practices, he’s not in the building more than a few minutes before he fires someone and sends someone off crying. Which is actually pretty tame compared to what he ends up doing by the time the credits roll.

“I may have started a money fire.”

I mean really, do you see yourself wanting to work for a guy who has the same approach to conflict resolution as The Joker did in The Dark Knight?

“Look, if life pushes you down you gotta push back! If you’re dealt a bunch of lemons, you’ve got to take those lemons and stuff them down someones throat until they see yellow! And if some punk-ass kid humiliates you, you’ve got to do the only thing that’s left to do!”

This is not only Frank’s business philosophy, but also his general outlook on life. On the surface it may seem like this cutthroat, take-no-prisoners approach has its inspirational undertone, until you realize that you could very easily be the one seeing yellow, with Frank himself pushing the lemons down your throat. Don’t forget, Frank’s rules only really apply to Frank (and his bottom line), and everyone else in the meantime is incidental.