Twitter Users Point Out The Warning Signs That ‘He’s Not Your Man’

A certain type of preachy advice format is being repurposed for sarcastic jokes on Twitter this week. The format started with the phrase, “Ladies, if he…” followed by a list of arguably negative character traits like “doesn’t like every one of your social media posts” and concluding with the verdict that those attributes mean “he is not your man.”

The format was quickly picked up by jokers using the format to declare who else isn’t your man, including historical figures, inanimate objects, fictional characters, and even Microsoft’s beloved and loathed mascot, Clippy. It’s too bad Clippy isn’t our man; he (he?) is exceedingly sexy, if the Amazon erotica is to be believed. (Editorial note: do not believe Amazon erotica. You will try to grind up on Bigfoot or a symbiote and then you’ll die.)

But it wasn’t just sexy, saucy Clippy who was being disqualified from “your man” status. People also applied the format to other brand mascots who are definitely not your man:

There were also plenty of music references:

Many people on Twitter waxed historical:

TV characters were also a popular source of humor:

And movie characters were also not your man:

People even looked to sports to find guys who aren’t your man, in this case Carmelo Anthony of the (well, not anymore) Houston Rockets:

Others reminded us that reading is fundamental:

And many people got particularly creative about who your man isn’t.

(Hat tip to The Mary Sue)