A Completely Bananas Brawl Broke Out At A Golden Corral Outside Of Philly, Allegedly Due To A Simple Misunderstanding Over Steaks

Tension are high in America right now, as they have been since, oh, let’s say June 16, 2015. But nothing will prepare you for the brawl that broke out in a Golden Corral outside of Philadelphia on Friday night, in which what appears to be a simple misunderstanding mushroomed into fists and chairs alike being thrown like mad. Perhaps the most amazing part? No one got injured.

As per ABC Action News in Philadelphia, the melee occurred at a Golden Corral located in Bensalem, Pennsylvania, about a 20-minute drive from the City of Brotherly Love. One person who was there, Alexis Rios, said it began when he received his steak before another person, who had ordered before. The man became irate, but it was a mere mistake: Rios had simply ordered his steak rare while the man who instigated the fight ordered his well-done.

Rios postulated that masks made the situation more confusing than it should have been. “With Covid right now, masks and everything, nobody can hear nobody sometimes,” Rios told the local ABC affiliate. Things escalated quickly. “I grab a chair to defend myself,” Rios said, “and then sooner or later that was it. Punches were getting thrown. Chairs were getting thrown.”

Video of the incident, which went viral a few days later, makes it look perhaps worse than it was. “Nobody was on the ground. Nobody got hurt,” Rios said. “I got a bruise on my nose. My brother got a black eye. My brother got a lifted nail. That was it.”

Still, it’s important to know that different steaks preferences have different cooking times, lest you inadvertently foment a large-scale skirmish.

For those whose knowledge of the Philadelphia area largely comes from Mare of Easttown (or its spot-on SNL send-up), Bensalem is located in the opposite direction of Delaware County, which lies immediately to the south of the city. Still, you wouldn’t see this kind of behavior at a Wawa. Or maybe you would.

You can watch video of the brawl and ABC’s Action News’ reportage in the video above.