It must really kind of suck to be Ted Cruz right now. With challenger Beto O’Rourke right on his tail in the polls, Cruz stands to be the first Republican to lose to a Democrat for the Texas Senate in decades. Things have gotten so bad, as Jimmy Kimmel pointed out on Monday night, that Cruz has even demeaned himself to ask “his former arch enemy” Donald Trump to stump for him at a campaign rally.
“That had to be the saddest phone call Ted Cruz ever had to make,” Kimmel joked. “Like imagine if your neighbor insulted your wife’s face, and then you had to ask him to loan you a weed-wacker. That’s like Ted Cruz’s life right now”
“It’s like the Devil making a deal with the Devil,” he added.
To commemorate Ted Cruz’s newfound appreciation for the president, Kimmel even put together a decidedly Trump-approved campaign ad featuring all of his greatest hits: Lyin’ Ted, Lee Harvey Oswald, “he’s a nasty guy, no one likes him,” and so on and so forth.
Kimmel then posed a proposition for Texas voters. “Whatever side you’re on, Democrat or Republican, it doesn’t matter, imagine how hilarious it will be if Ted Cruz is forced to kiss his bully’s ass in front of the world and then loses anyway,” he joked. “I mean, if nothing else, do it for comedy sake!”
He’s got a point, Texas. If nothing else, do it for Whataburger.