Ladies And Gentlemen, The Worst Sentence Of 2012

Every year since 1982, San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, named after Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, or the man behind the immortal line, “It was a dark and stormy night.” The competition asks entrants to “compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels,” and this year’s winner has been crowned. Her name is Cathy Bryant and she came up with the following word DUMP:

“As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.” (Via)

Here’s hoping that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo‘s Mama enters next year. Her sentence begins…

GIVE THAT WOMAN THE $10,000 or whatever it is Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest winners get.

(GIF via Burnsy)