Everyone Regrets Checking To See Why The McChicken Is Trending Right Now

Over the weekend, my half-brother introduced me to “JoeysWorldTour.” Joey describes himself as someone who “uses comedy to bring the usual mundane food review to a new hilarious level,” or in plain-speak, he’s an obese man who sits in his car and films himself eating things like the unholy Whopperito and Taco Bell’s massive Spicy Triple Double Crunchwrap. I thought it would be the most disgusting fast food-related thing I’d see all month. I was wrong.

The McChicken — McDonalds’ classic 360-calorie crispy chicken sandwich — is currently trending on Twitter and Facebook. Surely, it must be because another person cracked the McGangBang code, or a customer ordered more than six McChickens at once (do not do this). Nope. The McChicken, which has been known to cause fights, is trending because someone filmed themselves having “relations” with it, and put the video evidence on YouTube. We will not link to said video (or discuss it ever again), because it’s way too early for that, and also dear God why would you want to watch that, but slowly, as the world awakens from its slumber, people are learning why the McChicken is everywhere on social media. They are not pleased.

If y’all mess with my Spicy Chicken Sandwich