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McDonald’s Has Re-Branded The Hamburglar And No One’s Meat Is Safe Now

It has been 12 years since McDonald’s and Mayor McCheese locked Hamilton B. Urglar away in a prison made of fresh vegetables, ending his Big Mac thievery and returning peace to the streets of McDonaldland. Alas, this is a troubling time for the Golden Arches, as Taco Bell has taken a huge bite out of the fast food breakfast market and newer burger chains and restaurants are stealing business away from McD’s with their better quality food and competitive prices. McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook even tried to stop the company’s slide on Monday with a presentation on how he’ll make things better, but it only ended up making things worse.

So what do you do when McDonaldland is plagued by doubt and poisoned by reduced earnings? You let the greatest villain the fast food world has ever known – even worse than that goddamned Noid – burn it all to the ground. That’s right, the Hamburglar is back and no Sirloin Third Pound Burger is safe. Although, the dude does look a little different than McDonald’s customers might remember.

Of course, according to the McDonald’s version of Lindsay Naegle, the Hamburglar must have been in a minimum security prison, because this new version has been chilling at home with his family, making his own burgers. Who says that a once-terrifying criminal can’t turn things around?

“We felt it was time to debut a new look for the Hamburglar after he’s been out of the public eye all these years,” Joel Yashinsky, McDonald’s’ Vice President of U.S. Marketing said in a statement to Mashable. “He’s had some time to grow up a bit and has been busy raising a family in the suburbs and his look has evolved over time.” (Via Mashable)

Mashable also has some new images of this hipper, taller, and multi-toothed felon, and it’s safe to say that McDonald’s is playing off this generation’s love of the bad boy by giving this dude a head-to-toe makeover.

And in case you missed anything else on the web today…

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