Meet The Bros Who Are ‘Bro Choice’ Because Legal Abortions Means More Sexxx, Brah

I’m not quite sure how to take the video below. On one hand, I support any cause that allows women to have the right to choice. On the other hand, “HEY BRAH HEAR ABOUT SLIM DICK STEVE? #JEAH HE TOTALLY GOT HAAAANA PREGNANT. DON’T WORRY, THO, SHE GOT AN ABORTION — BRO CHOICE! — AND HE’S ALREADY HOOKING UP WITH ROWANDA.” Nothing makes sense anymore, except that frat bros are awful.

According to Ben Sherman, an outspoken bro-choicer:

Forcing women to adhere to the anti-choice attitudes of state legislators forces men to do the same, and will have serious consequences both on men’s lives and lifestyles. (Via)

But Sherman, can you explain, possibly with four reasons, why the anti-abortion bill “hurts straight Texas men”?

Your girlfriend’s/wife’s life will be in danger. Making abortion inaccessible for millions of Texas women is going to put them in danger if they ever need to terminate a pregnancy. Black markets for unsafe abortions will emerge, and women will be pushed into potentially fatal back-alley abortions. That’s your girlfriend’s life we’re talking about.

Your freedom to choose is at stake, too. While it is ultimately a woman’s choice whether to have an abortion, many women choose to make that decision with the man involved. Do you want that decision ready-made for you by politicians in state government? Not if you value freedom, you don’t.

You want to decide when and if to have kids. This bill will force thousands of Texas men into unplanned fatherhood by making it impossible for women to access an abortion in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. Even if you want to have kids, you probably don’t want an accident to make you a father before you’re psychologically ready and able to care for a child. If you don’t want kids, you don’t want the narrow, personal views of politicians in the state government to force you to have them.

Your sex life is at stake. Can you think of anything that kills the vibe faster than a woman fearing a back-alley abortion? Making abortion essentially inaccessible in Texas will add an anxiety to sex that will drastically undercut its joys. And don’t be surprised if casual sex outside of relationships becomes far more difficult to come by.

God. Being a man is SO tough. Never mind the fact that it’s basically another way of saying “responsibility-free abortions on demand by men” — we should be against “bro choice” because it’s called BRO CHOICE. Anyway, as for the aforementioned video, “Conservative videographer Caleb Bonham [went undercover] interviewed students at the University of Colorado at Boulder about being pro-choice. When asked whether the availability of abortion-on-demand made it easier for male students to score with women, both sexes said yes.” Caleb’s as convincing a bro as Steve Buscemi is a student. He never said the word “fingerbang” even once.