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Meet The Lady Who Tried To Get Out Of A Trip To Jail By Offering To Lick A Cop’s Butt Hole

The Louisiana woman in the above mugshot, 52-year-old Diane Thomas, is facing bribery charges as well as domestic-abuse charges, after she allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer. Earlier this month, Monroe police responded to a domestic-abuse call in which Thomas allegedly admitted punching her live-in boyfriend of 13 years in the face multiple times, in addition to scratching him because, according to papers obtained by the Smoking Gun, “he (was) a b*tch and got in her face, so she beat his ass.”

Unfortunately, she must not have realized that admitting to beating your boyfriend’s ass also buys you a one-way ticket to jail, because her attitude changed after she realized she was being arrested. After she was handcuffed, Thomas told the officer that she couldn’t go to jail because “she had a good job.” When that didn’t work, she tried a different plan.

“If you won’t take me to jail I will get on my knees right now,” she reportedly said. “Officer I will even lick your butt hole.”

You’ve got to hand it to her for going above and beyond. This isn’t the first time we’ve heard of a lady attempting to leverage oral sex to get out of an arrest, but it’s the offer of butthole licking that really sets her apart from the crowd. Unfortunately, the officer failed to see it that way, and Thomas was later released on $5,000 bond.

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