NOPE: Australian Fishermen Pulled This Horrifying Nightmare Beast Out Of The Ocean

Last week a group of Australian fishermen got quite a shock when they pulled a fully-grown, extremely rare frilled shark out of the waters near VictoriHOLY HELL THAT’S THIS THING’S FACE? JESUS CHRIST. PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK.

Looking more like an eel, the snake-like shark reaches a length of 6.5 feet (2 meters). It uses its 300 sharp, trident shaped teeth arranged in 25 rows to capture boney fish and other sharks. It then uses its flexible jaws to swallow its prey whole. [CBS]

A snake-like shark? But that’s two bad things! Two bad things is too many bad things! Why couldn’t they have found a dog-like koala? Or a koala-like dog? That would have been better! No I don’t know why such a creature would be in the ocean for fishermen to find! Leave me alone! I’m still trying to process this!

“I’ve been at sea for 30 years, and I’ve never seen a shark look like that,” Guillot told radio station 3AW on Wednesday. “It was like a large eel, probably 1.5 metres long, and the body was quite different to any other shark I’d ever seen.”

“The head on it was like something out of a horror movie. It was quite horrific looking … It was quite scary actually,” he added. [Mashable]

I repeat: The ocean is full of monsters. It is not to be trusted.