Piers Morgan never steps down from a fight he never needed to have in the first place; it’s what makes him a strong candidate for least liked person on the planet. The internet troll’s last significant social media dust-up was with Chris Evans, when the British TV figure (he’s occasionally some kind of journalist?) took umbrage with how Daniel Craig carried his newborn. He usually loses, or gets called out for always using the same dumb insult, or — in the Evans/Craig case, gets smacked in the face with a pie.
Morgan’s latest tiff is a real Mad Libs story: It’s with the creator of Final Destination over comments he made about toxic masculinity prompted by an ad for razors. There the failed successor to Larry King was, minding his own business, spending his Tuesday innocently tweeting about a new ad for Gillette, which asked that men simply not be awful. Well, Morgan doesn’t want to live in a world where crappy men like him aren’t welcome.
“I’ve used razors my entire adult life but this absurd virtue-signalling PC guff may drive me away to a company less eager to fuel the current pathetic global assault on masculinity,” the Entourage movie cameo-player tweeted. “Let boys be damn boys. Let men be damn men.”
Usually when Morgan when he gets on his anti-SJW high-horse, people simply make fun of him and move on. Not Hollywood player Jeffrey Reddick, who shepherded the probably-about-to-be-rebooted franchise about people who defy fate and meet bloody and amusingly Rube Goldbergian forms of retribution.
“Gillette isn’t saying men and masculinity are bad,” Reddick tried to explain to a man who actually wants to work for the failing president Donald J. Trump. “Toxic masculinity is when we teach boys that real men don’t cry. Real men don’t show fear. Real men don’t lose. Real men take what they want. Real men solve problems with their fists. It is toxic and it damages men and women.”
Did the former editor of English tabloid The Daily Mirror take Reddick’s comments in stride? The former editor of English tabloid The Daily Mirror did not.
“Hi Jeffrey,” Morgan fired back. “Fine words!! Do ‘real men’ make millions of dollars from movies glorifying the slashing, stabbing, shooting, incineration, strangulation & dismemberment of women?”
Alas, Morgan — who once half-jokingly threatened to start a “Men’s March” — hadn’t done his homework.
“Hey Piers,” Reddick responded. “Nice try. But none of the horror movies I’ve written glorify violence against women. I’ve never even written a nude scene. They’re all supernatural thrillers, except for one zombie movie. And the zombies ate more men than women.”
Morgan did not respond, and spent the rest of the day tweeting about the allegedly man-hating ad, trying to pick other fights with the likes of Soledad O’Brien, and generally a black hole of joy and charisma.
You could argue that Reddick’s claim is debatable — that there are actually plenty of gruesome deaths for female characters in the Final Destinations. Still, it’s true that they don’t glorify them, or that they’re at least equal opportunity death machines. But let’s not give Morgan even an inch — not even after having survived a left field health emergency the other week, which prompted him to apologize for not dying. Apology accepted.