Loki And His Wolf Son Scheduled The Apocalypse For This Saturday

According to England’s Jorvik Viking Center, the Viking apocalypse (Ragnarök) is set to culminate this Saturday, February 22nd. Surely it’s only a huge coincidence Loki’s son broke out of prison and Jörmungandr rose from the sea just in time for the Jorvik Viking Festival this weekend. Convenient!

Here’s a brief summary of this completely real apocalypse, via Geekosystem:

Detailing the chaos and immorality that ensues after Loki’s son Fenrir (a horrifying wolf monster, obviously) escapes from prison, the mythology of Ragnarok tells of a giant battle between snakes, fire monsters, and the Gods. It also involves Loki piloting a ship literally from Hell, so yeah, this ain’t yo Mama’s apocalypse.

Ragnarok was also predicted to arrive after “Fombulvetr,” Norse for “polar vortex” or the “winter of all winters”—so far the Vikings are eerily on point.

To be fair, that is absolutely my Mama’s apocalypse.

Anyway, Odin and Thor are supposed to die in this battle as floods engulf us all, but after all that kerfuffle the world is supposed to be reborn as a better place. No sir, I don’t like it. This Saturday, we’ll be boarding a ship called Hope and hoping the Thor and Heimdall can cancel this apocalypse.