In a hilarious new parody commercial, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert takes aim at the recent rash of anti-vaccine protestors who staged a sit-in at an Olive Garden in Times Square last week. After yelling at employees and storming the bar area, the group refused to leave in an effort to defy New York City’s indoor dining mandate that requires proof of vaccination before entering a restaurant. The ruckus eventually resulted in arrests as the NYPD cleared the protestors out and loaded them into police vans waiting outside. Via The New York Post:
Three men and a woman were expected to be charged with trespassing, according to officials. Their names were not immediately released.
“Wake up New York! Wake the f— up!,” one of the suspect yelled while being led into a police van in the heart of Times Square, according to video on social media.
“I got arrested. They arrested me for trying to eat at Olive Garden, that’s what happened,” another protester said, claiming his civil rights were violated.
Sensing that these people need a restaurant that caters to their complete disregard for public health, The Late Show welcomed to the Covid Garden. Here, shirtless cooks who don’t believe in washing their hands will expertly prepare such delicious dishes as Spinach & Artichoke Diphtheria, Fried Mozzarubella Sticks, Spaghetti Carbonanthrax, and Chicken Malaria. As the commercial ends, it puts a spin on the classic Olive Garden logo: “When you’re here, you’re family — is in danger.”
Unfortunately, there’s no mention of bottomless breadsticks, but then again, you’d have to live long enough to eat them, so why bother?