If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that after getting your wisdom teeth removed, you should lock yourself in an empty room where no one can record, you and you can’t do anything. Otherwise, you could turn into the girl who apologized to her teeth for murdering them, or sister whose brothers convinced her the zombie apocalypse was happening, or the would-be Kardashian who demands Ryan Gosling’s “white d*ck,” or… you get the idea.
The latest in a long line of wisdom teeth victims is University of Nebraska — Lincoln undergraduate Abby Jo Hamele. After the surgery, in a hydrocodone-induced haze, the 19-year-old confused her pug with her dog that passed away and e-mailed her teacher, and you can see where this is going. Her message began: “I believe that i relmebmer you said we, as us students, would be able to send you our papers for classss for you to look at over before we turn them in to cColin if we got them to you by the 22nd of Novermber.”
And we’re off.
I unfortmately got my wisdom teeth sliced outr and have not not been reacting very well to the surgeryy nor the medicatioon i were given/ so I do not thimk that I will be able to habe my paper finisherd by Tuesday at all.
Is tehere any way I would be able to send you my paper at any later date??? I wnt to do very good on this paper you know becayse i like to do well in my classes.
please sir I workled very hard and thouught that I would be abel to finish it on timme but my doctor said I will most likelly not be normal again until at least Thanksginvg turkey. If you say no then that is okay but i would be sad and i would reallyyyy lik e it if you said yes. Thank you Kevin, my dude.
Abby Jo Hamele (pronounced hah-mil-lee) (if you were wondering)
P.S. I will answer youpr questions in class forever so theere are not any more awkard silence. and i will buy you expo markers that work (even thougjh our tuition should pay for markers that work)
love you bye
Oof, that “love you bye” hurts. Luckily for Hamele, her philosophy 101 teaching assistant, Kevin Patton, figured out what was going on.
Don’t drink and drive, or tooth and type.