After the Democrats presented a compelling video spelling out the reasons why Donald Trump should be convicted of inciting an insurrection, his impeachment lawyer Bruce Castor launched into a very strange and very long rambling defense of the former president that managed to confuse the hell out of everybody. Even Newsmax pulled away from Castor’s remarks in total disbelief at what they were watching. The odd legal strategy also caused the “Chewbacca Defense” to trend on Twitter. That’s a reference to a 1998 episode of South Park that parodied Johnny Cochran’s infamous “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit” line during the O.J. Simpson murder trial. In the classic episode, Cochran is defending a record company and launches into a random argument about how Chewbacca is from the planet Kashyyyk, but somehow is living with Ewoks on the planet of Endor during Return of the Jedi. From the South Park episode:
“Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberatin’ and conjugatin’ the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.”
If the Chewbacca Defense left you scratching your head, that’s how people felt watching Castor defend Trump to the Senate, and he wasn’t doing it in some cartoon. This was happening in real life:
All Bruce Castor needs is a crossbow and this opening would be at peak Chewbacca Defense levels….. #ImpeachmentTrial pic.twitter.com/Osi0XyPYi5
— Dr. Jason Johnson (@DrJasonJohnson) February 9, 2021
Castor’s argument summarized:
“You can’t possibly convict Donald Trump because penguins look like they’re wearing little tuxedos and dragons don’t even *have* top hats”
— Angry Staffer 🌻 (@Angry_Staffer) February 9, 2021
https://twitter.com/AdamWeinstein/status/1359253650137374720
Chewbacca defense famously worked for Samuel Chase in his 1805 impeachment trial https://t.co/E0SS36ZY87
— Ben Jacobs (@Bencjacobs) February 9, 2021
The fact that "My Cousin Vinny" and the "Chewbacca Defense" are trending right now tells you everything you need to know about Trump's Impeachment Defense.
— Sara Sanchez (@BCB_Sara) February 9, 2021
Of course, with Republicans unlikely to convict Trump in the Senate, Castor could’ve literally recited the Chewbacca Defense verbatim and it wouldn’t have made a difference.
(Via South Park)