The world’s top competitive eater, Joey Chestnut, won a turkey-eating contest (in addition to the Guinness World Record) Saturday for throwing down 9.3 pounds of turkey at the Foxwoods Resort Casino in Mashantucket, Connecticut. Contestants were each given a twenty pound turkey and given ten minutes to do as much damage as they could, and the carcasses were then weighed at the end to see who ate the most. Chestnut completely annihilated the previous record, held by Takeru Kobayashi in 2011, who ate 7.5 pounds of turkey in ten minutes.
It’s definitely super impressive, but I do feel a little bit bad for the turkey. I can imagine turkeys standing around the water cooler in turkey heaven (because in this scenario turkey heaven exists) and one turkey is like, “Hey Frank, how did you die?” And that turkey is like, “I was the Thanksgiving dinner for a family of eighteen. There were five generations present and I was the first solid bite of food for the youngest baby. It was quite beautiful, actually.”
Then another turkey is like, “So Al, how did you die?” And that turkey is like, “Oh, some guy ate my entire person in ten minutes to win a contest. He didn’t even really taste me.” Then the other turkeys just kind of awkwardly shuffle away.
(Via CBC News)