Which One Of These White Boys Will Be Akira’s TETSUOOOOOO?

The casting of the Warner Brothers and Jaume Collet-Serra $90 million adaptation of Akira is rolling along, with Garret Hedlund likely playing Kaneda, Gary Oldman and Helena Bonham Carter playing Colonel Shikishima and Lady Miyako, and Kristen Stewart offered the role of Kei, who is being renamed “Ky” because Americans no pronounce Japanese smart, hurr durr derp.

Speaking of other changes to the Japanese masterpiece, it’s now set in “New Manhattan” and Kaneda and Tetsuo are now going to be brothers (and also white). So which white boy will play Garret Hedlund’s little brother Tetsuo? Warner is screen testing at least eight actors right now and want to pick a Tetsuo in time for Thanksgiving. These eight range from “that one’s cute” to “stop eye-f**king me, boy” on the RoboPanda scale of potentially bipolar dudes. It’s all very scientific.

THR gives a breakdown on who’s reading for the Tetsuo role today:

D.J. Cotrona (the Detroit 1-8-7 star who just wrapped the role of Flint in G.I.Joe 2: Retaliation), Logan Marshal Green (who appeared in the M. Night Shyamalan-produced Devil and will be seen in Ridley Scott’s Prometheus), Toby Kebbell (he caught the eyes of Warners execs with RocknRolla and is in War Horse), Richard Madden (Robb Stark in Game of Thrones), Rami Malek (appeared in The Pacific and has a supporting role in Twilight: Breaking Dawn—Part 2), and Michael Pitt (the breakout actor on HBO’s Boardwalk Empire). Also retesting for the role are Paul Dano (Cowboys & Aliens) and Alden Ehrenreich (Tetro). [Ed.- Actors pictured above in same order as listed here.]

Ezra Miller (We Need To Talk About Kevin) was previously rumored to be wanted for the Tetsuo role, but he recently said he’s not interested in it. That makes two of us.