The proper way to Snopp Doggify anything is of course to add unnecessary instances of “izz” in every word. As such, the famous rapper’s recent segment on Jimmy Kimmel Live is a revisionist history of unspecified black and white basketball called “The Hizzistory of Bissasketball with Snoop Dogg.” Here’s a promise that no more of this patois will appear in this post, though: It’s too early, and we’re all already feeling a little dizzy after Game 5 of the NBA Finals Monday night.
In the segment, Snoop is generally funny in his insistence that the one tall black man on the floor get the ball, but he is especially funny in noting that this man, for reasons unknown, is wearing a white glove on the court. Perhaps he was Michael Jackson’s original sartorial inspiration.
It is strange to watch such an anachronistic version of the game, and Snoop’s blunt commentary — any written pun is always on purpose — is a nice guide through a past vision of basketball with no three-point line, a perpetual traffic jam in the lane, incessant dribble hand-offs, and an overall grounded slowness. Maybe his performance here will earn him a spot as a sideline commentator for the similarly difficult-to-watch Eastern Conference Playoffs next year.
