Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: ridiculous rumors that have no chance of ever coming true! How can I report such blatant falsehoods, you ask? Peep the punctuation, homes.
Today’s rumor is that Brian Austin Green – David Silver from 90210 – will play the Riddler in the next Batman movie. Here it is, straight from the horse’s ass, via MTV.
“I would love to be the Riddler,” Brian Austin Green told MTV News.
“I’d like to be in the next ‘Batman,’ even though I am busy killing machines and people,” he said.
“I hope to God that they don’t try to replace Heath and have the Joker,” Green added. “And Two-Face is gone.” So they need a new villain, and the Riddler makes sense,”
“[Playing The Riddler] would take years of preparation. It’s tough. Heath set the bar at a new level, which I think is fantastic for comic book lovers and movie lovers. He changed the face of what people expect out of those films."
And what better way to respect his legacy than by casting a washed-up David Cassidy wannabe from the early 90s? He could be all like, "Riddle me this, girl: Do you feel the love?" and then bust into a white boy rap song while Jaleel White breakdances. I like where this is going.