The post will contain possible Transformers 2 spoilers, so if you don’t want to know anything about the plot stop reading now. But on a serious note, if you’re worried about ruining the surprise plot twists in a movie about giant robots punching each other, congratulations, you’re a moron.
Anyway, the story, according to a Transformers message board (pause for a moment to let those last three words sink in) is that the character of Alice, played by the lovely Isabel Lucas here, may be a Pretender. I was pretty excited because I love that “Middle of the Road” song.
For those not familiar with Transformers sublines from the 1980s [aka FAGS - Ed.], Pretenders are Transformers that are hidden inside a shell that acts as their disguise. In the case of Alice, the shell will be an attractive human woman while the inner robot is best described as a hybrid of the Frenzy robot design from the first movie. The Pretender Transformer will have an arm that transforms into an energy weapon, a long tongue, and a scanning tenticle.
In other words, a hot chick on the outside and a f-cking robot that transforms into a car on the inside. She’s like a turducken you can have sex with. And then drive around in. All this movie needs now is RoboCop riding a unicorn and a pterodactyl that shits lasers. And maybe a couple tigers.