This comes from Cracked’s 20 Celebrity Lives in Flowchart. It’s funny, but I really have nothing to add. Except these two number 2’s. Five! Wait, no — DAMMIT!
[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]
"THE NIC CAGE FLOW CHART"
Nice mouth pussy he’s sporting there at the top left.
Man, The Wrestler would have ruled with him as the star.
The Jeffrey Katzenberg one is also mildly amusing. In an ironic, self-aware, post-modern, cynical, iconoclastic sort of way. Meh.
Greatest flowchart of all time.
Lince, The Mighty Feklahr showed the clip of “Nic Cage in a Bear Suit Punching a Woman” at His family winter holiday gathering, and was the hit of the party.
Then He showed a clip of “It’s So Cold In the D”, and dursted it all. :(
That Gene Simmons chart was SO the best!
I don’t blame Mr. Cage for having organizational skills like this. I, myself, maintain several flow charts for daily tasks. Here’s my flow chart for social interactions:
Greet person——>Do they respond?
Yes or No ——–>Tell them an interesting story about airplanes or something you saw on television last night.
Do they respond?
Yes or No ———->Continue telling your story, being sure to laugh hysterically when the funny part comes up.
Have they responded yet?
Yes or No ————> Laugh some more and say “It was really something…”
Glen, does that work for court appearances and, if so, would you mind if I borrowed it?
On Brett Ratner’s flow chart, all arrows point towards “Have sex with a tranny”.
My flow chart for how to pick up chicks is just a mapquest arrow to the nearest hooker.
I’ve never been to court, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t work.
Here’s another one I use all the time when I join a conversation mid-stream.
Has someone stopped talking to take a breath?
No——-> Wait for that, it’s polite.
Yes——> Say “Where did you see/hear about that?”
Have you been acknowledged?
Yes or No———> Say – “I didn’t see/hear about that. I remember this one time in Oregon when (tell an interesting story about Oregon – it may be helpful if it relates to the existing topic, but it’s not required)”.
The first box on Gary Busey’s daily flowchart is “Have you devoured the soul of an unborn child?”
There isn’t an option for “NO”.
1. Have you completely ruined your legacy?
No: Do another half-assed unfunny piece of shit movie.
Here’s another one I use for woodworking:
Do you have a router table?
Yes ——–>Good, use it.
No ———>Build one yourself
Have you ever seen a router table or how it’s used?
Yes ——–>Assume what you’ve seen before is wrong or can be improved – commence building your own.
No ———>See yes.
The table is finished – time to use it. Push some wood into it. Does it seem to work right?
Yes ——–> Continue working
No ———> Force it to work and nearly cut your own hand off.
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