Because sometimes parody is unnecessary, here’s the actual Variety headline for this story: “Popeye to pop eyes in 3-D”. Hey, does your mouth taste like c*ck all of a sudden?
Sony is bringing an all-CGI Popeye to the bigscreen. Project was a natural fit for Sony, which is bringing a similar project to the big screen with Smurfs. The logline is being kept under wraps, but Popeye’s love interest Olive Oyl, nemesis Bluto, and adopted child Swee”Pea will be part of the adventure. Avi Arad says the new version will cover the themes of friendship, love, greed, and life, and focus on human strengths and human frailties.
Human strengths and frailties, yes, I’m sure that’s what drew you to the story…
The spinach-loving hero, who spawned the longest-running series of talking animated shorts, is considered a merchandising gold mine, with Popeye toys, books, puzzles, and games. Studio says the character is the world’s No. 1 licensing character in food.
In any case, I’m a little disappointed it’s going to be animated and not another live action Popeye. (Trivia: did you know the last one was actually directed by Robert Altman?). I think Josh Harnett would make a perfect Popeye, they wouldn’t even have to give him a fake squint. And they could get Gabourey Sidibe to play Olive Oyl, just to be politically correct. My choice to direct? David Lynch. Which I think would look something like…
I want more like this!
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