(“I know just what he would say if he were here too: ‘Oh Bella, I’ve waited a thousand years for this prom. I can’t wait to not f*ck and watch you sleep.’”)
DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS
- Support Burnsy’s “One Webcam: the Internet Stars Who Will Redefine Hip Hop.” |Uproxx|
- Elin demands $750 million in divorce settlement. Does she know how much less than that a good hit man costs? |SmokingSection|
- A supercut dedicated to “Thrown under the bus,” the most atrocious phrase in the English language since “It’s your baby.” |WarmingGlow|
- The Super Bowl is coming to New York in 2014, two years after the Mayans destroy the Earth with number bullets. |WithLeather|
- 74 funny faces in objects (objects including but not limited to “your mom”). |Urlesque|
- Harvard says steak is not linked to heart disease, but bacon is. What about sausage? I love a good sausage link. |Asylum|
- The NBA fines Barack Obama $100K for speaking out about Lebron. |SportsPickle|
- Asian bootleg Batman and Robin had some pretty wacky adventures. |ComicsAlliance|
- Five fictional characters who could replace Simon Cowell. |Pajiba|
- 8 signs that you’re getting old. (Sign one, you’re reading this on a Jitterbug) |Guyism|
- The 15 most annoying levels in video game history. Warning: slideshow. |Fark|
- This reporter is terrible at stealing cars. |CollegeHumor|
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