You’d think it’d be obvious to most people that a band who released a song about how a pelican eating your cell phone is a miracle would be religious, but if The Guardian is to be believed, they found the news that the Insane Clown Posse were actually evangelical Christians to be quite the shock.
All of which makes Violent J’s recent announcement really quite astonishing: Insane Clown Posse have this entire time secretly been evangelical Christians. They’ve only been pretending to be brutal and sadistic to trick their fans into believing in God [DUNT DUNT DUNNNNN -Ed.]. They released a song, Thy Unveiling, that spelt out the revelation beyond all doubt:
F*ck it, we got to tell.
All secrets will now be told
No more hidden messages
…Truth is we follow GOD!!!
We’ve always been behind him
The carnival is GOD
And may all juggalos find him
We’re not sorry if we tricked you.
Violent J explained himself unapologetically to a New Jersey newspaper: “You have to speak their language. You have to interest them, gain their trust, talk to them and show you’re one of them. You’re a person from the street and you speak of your experiences. Then at the end you can tell them: God has helped me.” [Guardian]
Okay, okay, The Guardian, you got me, I clicked on the link, I was even intrigued by the premise, even if it didn’t seem that surprising (violent rhetoric coexisting with Christianity? my stars, that’s never happened before!). And now for the part I referenced with the ellipses in the headline: “Insane Clown Posse reveals Christian faith… eight years ago.” That’s right, the “recent” song The Guardian quotes is from an album that came out in 2002. Which you’d think they’d know if they read their own source link. Anyway, when you think about it, it isn’t that surprising that ICP would be Christians. Clowns and priests, clowns and priests…. (*puts on Carnac the Magnificent turban, holds envelope up to forehead*) …What are two groups famous for child rape? (*pantomimes golf swing, smokes cigar*)