Senior Editor
06.03.09 18 Comments

I’m doing all I can to bring shame and humiliation to anyone who participates in this retarded campaign by Hasbro to make movies out of all their dumb toys, but alas, I’m only one man with a laptop and poop-stained underpants, and Hollywood people are giant whores.  The latest to prove he has no shame is super producer/dude-with-weird-hair Brian Grazer, who has signed on to produce Stretch Armstrong, which is being written by paragon of mediocrity Steve Oedekerk.

Universal also slotted “Armstrong” for release April 15, 2011, making it the first movie to be given the green light under the studio and toy company’s six-year strategic partnership.
“Stretch is an unconventional kind of superhero with a power that no one would want,” Grazer said. “It’s a story about a guy stretching, if you will, the limits of what is possible to become all that he can be.”

It’s a metaphor for the two thumbs I just jammed up my asshole, you see.

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