‘Gloria Allred has particularly strong words for Hilary Swank’

10.14.10 6 years ago 20 Comments

In my favorite headline of the day, Gloria Allred has scheduled a press conference this morning in which she reportedly has “particularly strong words for Hilary Swank.”  But she better bring more than strong words, because last I checked, Hilary Swank knows karate.  (…And kinda looks like a dude).

Allred’s strong words are in reference to Swank’s upcoming film Conviction, in which blah blah blah this isn’t really that interesting…

The movie is based on the story of Kenneth Waters [played by Sam Rockwell], who was convicted of brutally murdering Katharina Brow in 1980. Waters was released from prison after serving 18 years when DNA showed the blood samples used to convict him were not a match.
The flick — which opens Friday — chronicles the steps Waters’ sister took to free him, but Swank and company never contacted Brow’s kids.
Allred says, “The murder victim’s children feel that no proper respect or compassion has been shown by Ms. Swank [who’s also an executive producer on the project] for the murder victim and her family.” [TMZ]

And by “proper respect”, I imagine she means “money.” At this point, do people really think Gloria Allred is going to represent their interests?  Everyone knows she’ll do anything for the chance to scowl at some TV cameras.  I like to imagine the sign language interpreter at her press conference doing a yap yap yap thing with one hand and circling his ear as if to say “cuckoo” with the other.  My uncle likes to say her name’s “Allred” because she’s “always on her period.”   Ha, women, am I right?

“My fackin’ hahd on brothah was in prison, so now I’m goin’ ta lawr school.  Gonna leave this whole fackin’ bah in my reah view.”

“Your honor?  Need I point out that my client is Sam Rockwell?”

“Awww, he’s so scruffy and adorable like a sheep dog!  CASE DISMISSED!”

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