Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Looking for news? Answers? You’ve come to the wrong place, pardner! If we had ’em, we wouldn’t be askin’! YEEE HAW! Now who wants to get shot in the dark? (*fires pistols in the air*)
Today’s awesomely unsubstantiated rumor comes from Blue Sky Disney, who says that next month, LucasFilm will announce that they’ll be converting the Indiana Jones movies for a theatrical re-release, starting with Raiders of the Lost Ark. The move would mirror the 3D re-release of the Star Wars movies, which are set to hit theaters in 2012. Sounds plausible, right?
So why shouldn’t we believe it? Well, for one thing, the Indiana Jones movies were directed by Steven Spielberg, who, despite his sensible influence being woefully absent on Indiana Jones 4, has in the past been much more reticent to do recuts and rereleases of his movies than the hutt known as George Lucas. For another, Blue Sky Disney is the same site that falsely reported Josh Hutcherson as Spider-Man a few months ago. But go ahead, trust a liar, see if I care.
Nonetheless, if it is true, then clearly the target audience is stupid people. 3D sucks. It’s an excuse to charge more money. To say it’s more realistic is like saying a pop-up book is more realistic than a regular comic book. You want an “immersive experience”? Watch the original on mushrooms. Much cheaper.