KIDS ARE STUPID

Senior Editor
08.27.07 18 Comments

Here are the results of the 2007 Teen Choice Awards:

  • Action Adventure – “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”
  • Drama – “The Pursuit of Happiness”
  • Dramatic Actor – Will Smith (“The Pursuit of Happiness”)
  • Action Adventure Actor – Johnny Depp
  • Action Adventure Actress – Keira Knightley (“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”)
  • Comedic Actress – Sophia Bush (“John Tucker Must Die”)
  • Horror/Thiller Actor Shia LaBeouf (“Disturbia”)
  • Horror/Thiller Actress – Sophia Bush (“The Hitcher”)
  • Dramatic Actor – Jennifer Hudson (“Dreamgirls”)
  • Villain – Bill Nighy (“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”)
  • Hissy Fit – Ryan Seacrest (“Knocked Up”)
  • Breakout Male Star – Shia LeBeouf
  • Breakout Female Star – Sophia Bush
  • Dance – Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan (“Step Up”)
  • Chemistry – Will Smith and Jayden Smith (“The Pursuit of Happiness”)
  • Scream – Steve Carell (“Evan Almighty”)

Rather than focus on the fact that Pirates of the Caribbean won something, which might give me an eye twitch or an anal fissure, I'd simply like to point out that Knocked Up won only one award, and it was for Ryan Seacrest.  I think Miss Teen South Carolina must've been one of the judges.  Little does she know that she gives a great hand job. 

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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