Maggie Gyllenhaal’s vibrator drama, Jim Carrey, etc.

Senior Editor
08.23.10 20 Comments

Buried has a new poster out.  I’m offended that “‘Faux-artsy torture porn,’ -Vince Mancini, FilmDrunk.com” didn’t make their precious little list. And also that Ryan Reynolds is wearing a shirt.  For shame. [Collider]

Jim Carrey to star in Mr. Popper’s Penguins Mean Girls/Spiderwick Chronicles director Mark Waters will direct Carrey in an adaptation of the 1938 children’s book.  The contemporized plot: “a high-powered businessman suddenly inherits six penguins. As he gets acquainted with his winged roommates, Popper’s life quickly unravels: his swanky New York apartment is turned into a snowy winter wonderland, the deal he’s long been working on is derailed, and he almost lands in jail.  But thanks to his new charges, Popper comes to understand the importance of family – human and otherwise.”  Well that sounds like every comedy ever. “Damn you, penguins! (*record scratch*) You’ve covered my blueprints with snow! (*Trombone fart*) Now I’ll never make that important business meeting with the Japanese!(*sproing*)”  In related news, Tom Cruise has agreed to star in Amyl Popper’s Penguins, “as long as there are no gays in there.” |Deadline|

Maggie Gyllenhaal to star in Victorian vibrator drama. She’ll appear opposite Rupert Everett and Hugh Dancy in Hysteria, a romantic comedy about the London doctors who began treating “hysteria” (“a woman’s irritability, anger or unexplained tears”) with their new electrical device (replacing the previous treatment, a hearty throttling).  Before they could market it, the two would have to withstand a public smear campaign from Thomas Edison, who tried to demonstrate that their product was dangerous by vibrating to death an elephant’s vagina.  Which, coincidentally, is also the medical term for your mother’s condition. |Variety|

Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Adrien Brody rumored for the lead in Fantastic Four rebootScreenrant says Fox is looking at Meyers and Brody for the role of Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) and that Amber Heard is in the running for Sue Storm.  According to my sources, the film is still slated to screen as a Who Gives a Sh*t Channel exclusive.  In related news, I think I threw out my back dismissively wanking. |Screenrant|

USA Today debuts first picture from Ron Howard’s The DilemmaThat’s the one that stars Vince Vaughn as a guy who finds out his best friend Kevin James’ wife is cheating on him, written by Allan Loeb, the guy who wrote The Switch and 21.  Oof. I don’t know how you could possibly make that sound worse.  Says USA Today: “Plus, a sibling cameo tradition continues: ‘Clint Howard has a nice turn.'”  (*screams, dives through plate-glass window*)

Around The Web