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07.24.07 3 Comments

Even in these days of Paris Hilton, teenage girls are only so good at whoring themselves out on their own.  Luckily, MTV is always there to lend a helping camera.  And this season, The Real Orange County: America's Fakest County, is moving up the coast, from Laguna to Newport.  The show will be called Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County, reflecting both the new city and the continued celebration of ignorance, because last time I checked the town was called Newport Beach.   

The show originally made headlines four seasons ago for being the first semi-scripted collection of vacuous whores and personality-free douchebags that didn't have Jeremy Piven to spout catchphrases every few episodes.

Expect: Drama! Intrigue! Sullen looks! Relationship talks! Teenage heart-to-hearts!

Ten bucks says at least three of these chicks have implants by the time the last episode airs.  


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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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