Are internet trolls bumming you out? Is checking your Facebook every five minutes seriously diminishing the amount of work you’re getting done at your job? Are you just sick of everyone you know having the ability to text you and find out where you are within a few minutes? If these or any other social media related problems are getting you down, a town in the Austrian countryside has your answer. They are looking for a hermit in residence (beard not required).
If you’ve ever considered moving into a shack in the middle of the woods to write a manifesto or you’re just tired of small talk with Chad from accounting, this is your dream job. Yes, it is a job. Municipal and Roman Catholic church officials in the Austrian town of Saalfelden are looking to fill one position. The requirement for the position include: spending time alone in a cave, hiding when towns folk come to gawk at you, and cutting yourself off completely from the outside world (okay, fine, the truth is you just have to be chill with hanging alone).
The church is looking for one brave soul to live in a hermitage, built into the very steep cliffs near the town. Think of it as a cave-dwelling caretaker or cave-sitter for the town. The only problem (besides the heights), is the fact that this job doesn’t come with any compensation. The fact that you might have to find other employment severely diminishes that possibility of being a Quasimodo, hiding-in-the-darkness.
But wait, there are more bad things: the cave is unheated and there is no water. This might be more suited for your survivalist, outdoorsy types instead of just your sick of society, beardy types. If you enjoy daily showers, this isn’t for you.
Cleric Alois Mosert told state media ORF that they are looking for, “a person at peace with himself.” Also, they should be willing to meet and greet Christian pilgrims and not be hurt when towns folk to make up spooky legends about them.