Society will one day fall, and the dirty, huddling masses will look up to the sky for their savior and giver of life, waiting for him to unleash water from his Trump tower like Immortan Joe. These same people will walk through museums that feature moisture farms, and strange dedications to flight decks of spaceships they’ll never pilot. The existence of the Death Star will be impossible to comprehend, but will still conjure nightmares. The laser swords seen in an exhibition will inspire the finest warriors, but shall be useless in modern combat, where the V8 is the arbiter, and chrome ushers you into Valhalla. But until that future plays out, we can get super-excited that Disneyland is breaking ground on ‘Star Wars Land‘ in April! Yes, you’ll be flying the Millennium Falcon so soon. To quote Trump – it’s going to be “great.”
Chief Executive Robert Iger told all parties at Disney’s annual shareholders meeting that the attraction “will be great.” So hopefully there will be Ewok villages, VR Jabba The Hutt “adults-only” shows, and plenty of cantinas that are all equally wretched hives of scum and villainy. Parts of Disneyland’s Frontierland have been closed to prepare for the Star Wars invasion that will undoubtedly be awesome.
And don’t worry, Floridians – ‘Star Wars Land’ will be coming to Disney’s Hollywood Studios park in Orlando at a later, unset date.
(Via LA Times)