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BARRY BONDS WILL NEVER RETIRE

By / 02.08.07

Despite the fact that most skeletons from the Paleozoic have more cartilage tan his knees, Barry Bonds claims that he wants to play in 2008 and possibly beyond.

Bonds told the Giants this winter, through his agent, that he has no plans to retire — not after this season and probably not after next season, either… Given Bonds' strong intention to extend his career into his mid-40s — he turns 43 in July — it is inevitable that he will exceed Aaron's record 755 home runs, and maybe by a lot. His agent, Jeff Borris, has raised the notion of 1,000 home runs.

1000 home runs. Uh huh. Sure buddy. Jeff Borris has also raised the notions of the following: riding a pegasus over a rainbow, a breakfast cereal called "Swastik-Os", a lasting peace in the Middle East, and a Scarlett Johansson-Jessica Biel sex tape.

Aw crap. Stupid imagination. Now my underwear's all tight.

Update: I almost forgot: The Dugout has a great take on this. I got distracted by thoughts of Scarlett and Biel. Sweet God please make it so.


TAGSassholesBARRY BONDSMLBSAN FRANCISCO GIANTSsteroids

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