By: 05.23.08  •  10 Comments

What to watch for in this weekend's biggest matchups.  One team or another in ALL CAPS.

PENGUINS over Red Wings – The Steelers won a Super Bowl in Detroit, so naturally all Pittsburgh teams can thrive there, right? My unreasoning homerism says yes.

LAKERS over Spurs – C'mon Lesser Evil! You'll inflict suffering upon the world in ways far more tolerable and easily overcome with narcotics than Greater Evil. Actually, narcotics can do the trick either way. A Spurs loss just amplifies the high.

WHITE SOX over Angels -Southern California can only win so much. And Ozzie Guillen has his Pale Hosers surging with the power of homophobic taunts and ethnic slurs, as all great motivators do.

Italian Spiderman over INDIANA JONES – The new Indy has aliens and a CGI'd Rough LaBeouf swinging on vines with monkeys. Advantage: whiskey and punching girls.

HANGING IN over Going Somewhere – Way to honor the troops with shitty weather and high gas prices, cruel indifferent world.

And thus concludes another programming week. We shall return on Tuesday after a long weekend of staying the fuck off the roads. Unless you want to spot us a ride. No halfsies on gas, though.

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