Last time I checked, Marko Jaric was still some ratfaced Eurotrash scrub that the Timberwolves traded to one of the crappier NBA teams. Maybe the Grizzlies? I really can’t pretend to care. And yet, here he is, with what appears to be the most beautiful woman God has ever assembled. And he’s ugly. And she’s perfect. But he’s ugly. While she’s gorgeous. Except no, he’s really fuggin’ ugly. Hold on, I’m still trying to understand this.
I heard that every time Adriana Lima has an orgasm, a rainbow appears in the room and at the bottom is a unicorn and the unicorn gives you three wishes. I haven’t fact-checked that, but it sounds about right.