If you’re anything like me, you’ve got multiple restraining orders against Victoria’s Secret models and you vaguely remember watching ESPN’s “Dream Job” reality series, which lasted three seasons. Some would say that was four seasons too long. Still, scores of men tuned in, if for any reason, to ogle Kit Hoover’s hot little self in her post-Road Rules career. At the end of season 2, Dave Holmes ended up defeating some guy we’ll never hear from again to sign his 1-year deal with ESPN, drive home in his brand new Mazda 6 and reap the benefits of his newfound stardom.
Fast forward 5 years to today and Holmes is doing great as he’s fulfilling his lifelong dream of covering the Ohio State Buckeyes for 13 ABC in Toledo, which is also the home of Christina Williams, who I know nothing about but she’s pretty cute so that’s cool. Dave even went as far as to record his own special rap song to honor the OSU-Michigan rivalry this past Saturday, and it’s everything you could ever expect from a white guy from Ohio rapping. Even worse, though, I found out that Dave’s song is Punte’s ringtone. Pretty shameful, indeed.
But Dave’s efforts reminded me of how great the connection is between college football and music – more specifically rap – especially with enthusiastic fans and players. It’s no Source Awards, but boy is this collection guaranteed to bring some street credit…
Dave Holmes’ Border Battle Rap
Wait a sec, is he wearing the jerseys of both teams in this video? Come on, Dave – you need to rep one side so you can feel the heat from the opposing fans. Did Bill Simmons teach you nothing while you were at ESPN?
It’s the modern gold standard for college football and rap. Anything that involves Greg Olsen acting street is mandatory for this discussion.
While a senior at Kentucky, current Buffalo Bills receiver Steve Johnson was highly regarded as a team leader. In fact, he regularly inspired his team before games through the inspiration of spoken rap. Coincidentally, this is how I address the judge at my paternity hearings.
While they’re no 7th Floor Crew, Herman Lathers, Rico McCoy, Greg King and Robert Nelson showed off their rap… skills? Can I call this a skillful attempt? Sure, why not… they showed off their rapping skills at last year’s media day. Unfortunately, at this year’s media day reporters promised to show up but then went to USC’s media day instead.
Much like all great sports rivalries, real fans settle it with one mic and hot fire. In this 2008 Red River Rap Battle showdown, Playdough reps his beloved Texas Longhorns while Dawg Wonder showcases his Oklahoma Sooner pride. All that’s missing is Channing Tatum to rep the Texas Institute of Keepin’ It Realz, son.
I’m not quite sure how the numerical system works in the rap game these days, but I’m assuming that the 63 Boyz are six steps away from achieving the success and status of the 69 Boyz. I guess that’s like becoming a ninja because I haven’t heard of the 70 Boyz, so the 69 Boyz must be the highest of the Boyz. See? I get rap.
The SEC is arguably the best conference in college football, but it clearly dominates the college football rap scene, between the 63 Boyz and J. Skeezy and Fresh with their tribute to the Georgia Bulldogs. If only the Florida Gators had a rap anthem to hammer my point home…
Nevermind, I take it all back.
It’s not rap, but I love sharing my alma mater’s football anthem from this season because it makes Scott Stapp’s Florida Marlins song seem logical. *shivers*
- Geek & Sci-Fi