David Beckham is on the cover of Men's Health this month. Why is a soccer player wearing a suit in a boxing ring? I don't know. Maybe he was filming on the set of Cinderella Man Too: White British Boxers Also Fought During the Depression. "Call me funny names, will ya? Right, then! Le's take this outside, we will! C'mon, up with yer dukes, guvna!"
As Kickette notes, Beckham is the first dude on the cover of Men's Health to not be shirtless and flexing rock-hard abs since… well, pretty much ever. It has to be a bittersweet moment for all the gay men that have always hoped Becks would make the cover. I know it is for me.
In unrelated Beckham news, ol' Goldenballs was named Athlete of the Year at the Teen Choice Awards, proving for the 300 billionth consecutive time why teenagers should never be allowed to vote for anything ever. Fucking idiots. They'd elect MTV president if they could.