Lou Piniella Will Manage the Cubs

10.16.06 11 years ago

The Cubs have mysteriously passed on Northwestern grad, Chicago native, former Cub, and well-muscled badass Joe Girardi in order hire Lou Piniella as their new manager. Early reports are that Piniella will make in the neighborhood of $3 million a year.

I understand that Sweet Lou is a great manager who has won the World Series and the AL Manager of the Year twice and gets pissed off at the umpires and stuff, but it still doesn't quite make sense to me. I mean, Joe Girardi is a badass. Joe Girardi would beat the shit out of you, take the cash out of your wallet, then extend the courtesy to leave your driver's license and credit cards in the pool of your blood. Lou Piniella would just pick your pocket like the Spanish-speaking guinea that Steve Lyons tried to warn us about.

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